Writeia

I've been getting a lot of flack from my folks for not amounting my life to anything. My excursions with my friends turn into a waste of time, they say, and I get the point. In my heart of hearts, I too feel that something productive must be done with my time—something useful. But I don't think seeking progress forever is either good or sustainable. That does not mean to say that I want to spend my time getting drunk and fooling around. I have come to realize society—my folks being a part of it—will only appreciate the way things are if they like what they see. Frankly, they can be lied to and they wouldn't mind as long as the truth is hidden away. I wish I didn't have to live like that, but such is my time, at least right now. I wouldn't know how to make anyone else understand this if they don't already feel this way. Anyway, it's 5 AM here right now, and I've woken up fresh in the morning, so I can write down my thoughts to you. Maybe you can understan...

I’m on the verge of turning 30. Over the past decade, I’ve done a bit of everything—jumping between jobs, trying different paths, having fun along the way. But if I’m honest, my biggest regret is not taking care of my health the way I should have. That’s something I’ve started working on consciously now. At 28, though, I find myself burned out and uncertain about what comes next. I don’t know what steps to take toward a life that feels fulfilling. My parents think marriage is the answer. I don’t agree—not entirely. I feel the pull to marry, but not from necessity. The question “What next?” probably haunts most of us. Maybe that’s just human nature—to be unsatisfied, never quite “through” with anything. As I reach this point in my life, I realize that much of what I’ve experienced feels shallow compared to what I’ve learned. The last decade was mostly repetition: complaining about the state of the nation, the chaos in personal life, the same habits looping in a cycle. I didn’t really l...

Am I greedy? Or is it ambition? Or perhaps just laziness?  Lately, I’ve been thinking of quitting work. Again. It seems like a pattern now—I dive into something, stay long enough to realize it’s not for me, then start looking for an exit. My reasons vary: sometimes it’s the dream of launching my own venture, sometimes a pull toward the art world. But if I’m honest, the cycle is always the same. I leave, I sit around for a few months trying to figure it out, and eventually, I find another job—usually one that pays better, but still, a job. And once the routine sets in, boredom follows, and I start unraveling. This time, I want to do it differently. I plan to speak with my senior—not to quit, but to seek advice. What I want now is to work on my own terms. I’d like to start something of my own, with his guidance if he’s willing. I believe I can do it. The only question is: what do I do? That’s the part that remains unclear. I don’t yet know what kind of venture will feel like mine ...

  Am I a Name? Am I a name? Or am I a writer who believes he just hasn’t had enough time to write, or enough people to appreciate the work? Am I the emotional one who seeks comfort, who searches for love? Or am I the one who offers it? Am I the name that was given to me— Akash ? Or am I the person you call a friend, a son, a brother? If knowing me means knowing my behaviors, my thoughts, my actions—then maybe I am the sum total of what I’ve done, what I am doing. But is that all? Am I simply what has happened to me, or is happening? When I think— truly think—about this, I realize, certainly,  I am a body and a mind. Does what I ate yesterday, or what I did a moment ago, define who I am now? If so, then who I am must be shaped by thoughts and actions—summarized, added to, subtracted from, divided into—the totality of my experiences. All the information I’ve absorbed until this point has become thought patterns and behaviors I now mimic. I often believe my ideas are or...

“In general, people are often too focused on their own problems to care about how you're solving yours.”  This is from Cal Newport's Slow Productivity . And I get it—I’m just as wrapped up in my own problems as the next person. Right now, I’m trying to solve a few monetary issues by building a second source of income. Ah, the hustle culture. I do need the money, mainly to pay off some debt. I am trying to be productive but not so much that I stress myself out and do nothing about it.  My idea for that second income? This blog. It’s starting to gain some traction, thanks to the thousand or so readers who visit it monthly. And now, I want to take that momentum and shift it in a more personal direction. I’m the eldest child in my family, with a younger brother who’s nine years younger than me. I’m approaching 30, still searching for my “purpose” in life. That’s probably one reason why I haven’t been able to hold down a job for more than a year—or maintain a strong relationship,...