Writeia

I’ve always aspired to be a man of action—not the kind you see in movies, but someone who acts on his interests whenever and wherever they arise. Perhaps "selfish" is a more fitting description, but I prefer "action-oriented." Yet, despite this desire, I’ve often found myself lost in thought, endlessly debating the best course of action until I remain exactly where I started. So much for being a man of action, huh? I often wonder, who am I trying to convince, and who is doing the convincing? What rules must one follow to live peacefully, or are there even rules to follow at all? As I write this at 7:30 in the morning, a motorbike has been tearing through our community, its rider revving the engine to announce his presence. I was meditating when he first passed by, and in that moment, I felt a surge of anger—how dare he disturb my peace? But then I realized that by letting such a trivial thing bother me, I had disrupted the sanctity of my meditation. Now, as I contin...

It is a story you tell. The moment you start forming opinions, when your first words are heard, it is a story you tell. You begin your story whenever you think you began it. There is, in my mind, a moment from my childhood. I was angry at a friend of mine; he was a little older than me. I, a person of 7 years of age, would not fare well against someone who was 10 or 11. I do not remember what I was angry about, but I remember the action I took while I was fuming. We were playing in our front yards. The moment I felt wronged, I quit playing and was on my way. I had a bicycle I rode around. I did not go off cycling to ease my pain; I didn’t have the wisdom then to do so. I went away to find a rock that I could launch with my slingshot. After moments of searching, I came back with the smallest but hardest piece of stone that I could launch. Beside the gate, a few meters away from where we were playing and where my arch-enemy (at that moment) was playing, I positioned myself to shoot the ...

 I have tried many ways, and for many days, to change myself. The best tool I thought I had at my disposal for that was my thinking—my thought process. Seeing as how I still don't feel like a changed man, I know that way of trying to change isn't working. I have been studying our Hindu philosophy, and another way has appeared—a mindful way, or rather the way of awareness. I have been practicing meditation as a hobby for a long time now, and as with most hobbies, I lose interest at times, while at other times I am immersed in it. Some of that experience has rubbed off well. To make it work for the betterment of myself and everything around me, however, I need to turn it into a ritual of sorts. The psychological battle between different choices in our lives does not come all at once; they arise one day at a time, just as the sun can only shine for a day at a time. This battle of choices that I have tried to fight rationally, thoughtfully, and repressively has only caused more and...

Nepali Version :    चन्द्रमा र माया - Aetherek  जिस्काउछे मलाई त्यो मेरो चन्द्रमा, बस्छु शायद म पनि उस्को त्यो मनमा,  आनन्द आउछ याद उस्को आउदा, आकाश मेरो खुल्छ दर्शन उस्को पाउदा,  चाहान्न अरु केही म तिमी बाट, माया नभये कहाँ आउथ्यो यो आट, केही शब्दले मात्र पनि बुन्न सक्दिन यो प्रेम कथा,  तिमी नहुँदा मनले लान्छ कहिले एता, अहिले उता, सम्झन्छु तिमीलाई हरेक साजमा,  चन्द्र र ताराहरु को माजमा,  मेरा सबै सास छन तिम्रोनै राजमा।  English Version :  The Moon & My Love - Aetherek  She teases me, my moon so dear, Perhaps I dwell within her heart, so near. Joy arises when her memory appears, The sky opens wide when her vision clears. I seek nothing else but you alone, Without love, where would this courage be grown? No words could weave this love’s tale, When you're gone, my heart wanders, frail. I think of you in every twilight’s hue, Amidst the moon and stars’ view. All my breaths are under your reign, With you, my love, they remain. "Moonr...

I've been reading and learning about world history. The lessons I can take from it are many. What amazes me is that there are so few key events that shape history; much more is shaped by various wild probabilities and chances that determine who we are today. As a student of Literature, I am interested in learning about the truth just as much as about fiction. After all, fictional worlds often imitate the real one, and sometimes it's the opposite as well. Yesterday, while talking with a friend of mine, I had an insight: in the Nepali literary scene, there are hardly any fictional works that try to imagine a future for Nepal, purely in fictional terms. The idea is to write about Nepal as an underdeveloped nation reaching the heights of a superpower, with the span of this dramatic rise taking place over decades or centuries. Imagining a few aspects of this story excited me, but working on it and actually thinking of the conditions that might result in that kind of importance on th...

 Which class ends up owning you? That has always been the state of middle and lower-class people. What can I say? There is always a class that ends up ruling over you. During the time of the Spaniards, there were conquistadors and viceroys who ruled over you; in the time of the British, there were colonial governors and masters who ruled over you; in the time of the French, there were also colonial administrators who ruled over you. Throughout history, we have witnessed a form of control where there is a ruling class and the ruled. The cycle is that we end up changing our positions. There have been revolutions and uprisings to overthrow the ruling class throughout the world, but there have also been long periods of subservience. People have been ruled over, and there are those who rule over them. That has always been the state of the world, and you cannot convince me that right now is any different. I cannot pass judgment on who is in the right and who is in the wrong, but I can sa...

I tried to remember her face, But her name escapes my mind, Where is she now? Where can I look? Oh, she was my ace of hearts, I thought her to be an angel, I cried out to the heavens above, I've wandered all my life, Searching for my ace of hearts, Her sweet eyes, her loving embrace. Oh Lord, oh God, help me name your angel, Am I not searching, am I not looking right? I may not be the darkness, But I’m surely not the light. My baby, my love, my angel, I don’t know where she’s gone, But now I’m all alone. I don’t know the love of an angel, I’m just made of rough flesh and bone. I don’t know where I belong— How does it feel to be without a home? "The Soul of the Rose" by John William Waterhouse

My chief aim right now is to make discipline a part of my life. I have had many opportunities in the past to improve myself, but I failed to seize most of them. Out of ignorance toward what attracts me the most, I have let too many moments and days pass idly by, spending most of my time regretting the transgressions of my past. To change that and find a new way of living, I am certain that discipline must be incorporated into both action and thought. For the action part, most of my days are now spent in the pursuit of creative fulfillment, primarily through writing. I also want to make a habit of working toward fulfilling those creative instincts. For the thoughtful part, I must filter out and unlearn the negative ideas that I have harbored for decades. Only with the right thoughts can I prompt the right actions. My dissatisfaction has always stemmed from my inability to do the things I judge to be right. This is the way of ignorance: knowing the right path but still debasing myself or...

Nepal—a nation perpetually in transition. I've spoken with countless friends, and the sentiment is always the same: the government, they say, is tuned against the welfare of its own people. Even driving could be a gamble with your life ( August 15th News ). What can I say about a country so entrenched in its ways? Can a single person truly change a nation? Western ideologies would argue yes, but here, in our Eastern homes, I have my doubts. We exist in a state of constant flux, where something is always teetering on the brink of failure. Nepal, a land cherished by over 30 million hearts—yet, can any of them truly claim their actions have reshaped the nation? I remain unconvinced. The daily challenges we face are but a microcosm of the lifelong battles ahead. Who wouldn't feel helpless in such a situation? My friends—most of whom now live abroad—sing praises of their adopted countries, and rightly so. But when they return home, they’re on vacation, merely tourists in their own l...

"Do not stay idle, Do not spend time with friends." This and many other pieces of advice I've heard from elders who are there to guide me. I do not accuse them of trying to help me, but when I explore why they impose such advice, I always encounter responses like, "Staying idle for long periods is laziness, and you don't want to be labeled a lazy person, now do you?" or "You spend time with your friends while they make progress and move ahead of you. Don't you want to compete?" I've often wondered what makes us so bitter towards life. Do we ever really compete with others? Do we ever truly compare ourselves with one another? There are illusions of grandeur, importance, and value, but do they hold true throughout our lives? Should competition and relentless activity be the morals that drive our lives, or should we lay such matters to rest once and for all? Darwin's mantra of survival of the fittest might apply to the evolution of species...

There are cravings that a person must fulfill in this world, and they can mostly be categorized into two types: material and spiritual. The spiritual one is highly individual and requires a different sort of effort than the materialistic one. Today, I would like to talk about my materialistic needs. As a person born and raised in Nepal, an underdeveloped nation in Asia, I, like most other Nepalis, have to find means not only to support myself but also to support my family, however possible. Even though I have chosen the written word as a medium for my spiritual fulfillment, I must admit that it is not a viable way to make a modest living, at least here at home. I am reminded of a quote by Gabriel García Márquez: "If you're going to be a writer, you have to be one of the great ones... After all, there are better ways to starve to death." Well, we all can't be the great ones, now can we? So, as a means to make a living, I have chosen a quieter profession that I have bee...

Where does my hope come from? What is it in me that assumes everything will be good in the end? Of what end could I possibly be thinking? To the living, the only inevitable end seems to be death. Is that the end I wonder about? The burden of existence certainly comes from questions—questions that I have spent my life so far trying to figure out. Not the answers, mind you, but the questions themselves, which are lost to me. At times, I wonder if it's about making the most of the moments you get; at other times, I wonder if it's about making the most moments out of the time you have. Jumping the ropes of knowledge and experience, I find myself torn, wanting both sides of the coin. How such contradictions can be within the scope of reason is beyond me. Sometimes, I try my best to simply get through the day with whatever distractions I have at hand. Other times, I strive to fully attend to every minute task that I deem worthy of action throughout the day. For my generation (by that...

It's the creative life for me. I cannot take anything else. I tried holding steady jobs that pay very well (compared to the salaries that average Nepalis make). But what I figured out about myself in the last couple of days is that I am too excitable to be steady at something; there are things that I take to the extreme. Thoughts that drive me mad, actions that make me someone else. These thoughts and actions come at different intervals, and they make all the difference in my life. I have revelations all the time. What can you call that? I certainly am not a thoughtful or intelligent person, but I react all too loudly whenever something out of the ordinary happens. Being too excitable has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Whenever my folks tried to beat me, I used to bail. Running was my forte. That does not mean they were bad people; they tried their best, given that I was their first child. Oof! What trouble it must have been to raise me. They instilled in me ...

It was common in the time of kings to offer favors to their close friends. The tight circle would then offer favors to those below them. The hierarchy was set; power came from the top and trickled slowly downward. Well, the king is no more. But the authority figures who have power are still ever-present in today's democracy. Those who have power now exercise similar misuse toward those who have none. The only difference is that there is no central authority exerting immense power; instead, power is divided among politicians, judges, bureaucrats, and business folks. This is not to say that everyone misuses their power, but I am certain that if you are from Nepal, you know how far knowing someone can take you ( source/force ). Growing up in Kathmandu, I have always been aware of the fact that my family and I belonged to the have-not section of this divide. Anytime we needed to get something done, we had to either bribe someone or cozy up to people just to get their duties fulfilled. ...

The Orwellian society portrayed in George Orwell's 1984 has become a living reality for many of us modern netizens. Just as the people living in Orwell's fictional world, people today often do not realize their predicament in a world designed to capture their attention for as long as possible. This scenario also resembles parts of the Pixar movie WALL-E , where humanity is depicted as having been reduced to passive consumers of content every waking hour. Moments before I go to sleep, my eyes struggle to keep up with the stories that Netflix offers to me. The moments after I wake up are spent frantically trying to catch up on what I might have missed during the night. This constant need for engagement has made many aspects of life miserable. We cannot get bored; we're not allowed to get bored. This seems to be the modern mantra. Tools that were supposed to ease our way of living have become the only means through which we can bear to live. A simple explanation like this acc...

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  The Complexity of Truly Knowing Someone: Can you truly know someone? I don't think so. The more I try to figure out a person, the more I slip away from who they are. I cannot fathom that, at least logically. At times, I feel that I know someone completely (including myself), but at other times, I find something entirely contrasting. Is it simply that we are all ever-changing? The moment you try to hold onto it is the moment you lose it. From my personal experience, I have tried to love, and every person I have loved has become an end in themselves. I thought of them as the beginning and the end, but alas, I am writing this to you as a lone man. What I find truly fascinating is that there are hours when I cannot be left alone; the world has to be by my side. But there are also moments when I cannot stand anyone beside me. The living contradiction that I am encourages me not to fix myself to a specific category or class but to exist as a living entity, experiencing everything in be...