Writeia

From James Baldwin's "Stranger in a Village" ; "People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster." As the story goes, I understand it is about a clash of cultures, a clash that probably let those cultures meet; the black and the white one, American-made. I see those ideas that underlie there everywhere around me as well, maybe in different terms. I do not understand my own culture deep enough to talk about it, but I do feel there is a necessity of un-reality that surrounds it. By un-reality, I mean a way of seeing things that are a tad different than the way things actually are. Nepalis are an optimistic bunch; most of us believe fate will play its role and good will come out of everything—a far stretch from the reality that we live in. We're not chained down or enslaved physically but mentally. I feel the uneas...

 Marriages, the ones that are fixed in Nepal. Well, they're different I and a woman I haven't met before are to see if things can work out for us. Atleast that's how arrange marriages go about. I'm thinking the same for myself as well. In fact dad has a idea in his mind. Lets see how things work out, I'm also looking to find a partner and what better way than for my family to select who they may like. You gotta give shout out to the people that love you all the way, even at times when you necessarily don't love yourself. I guess that's how I can take a measure of sorts, so I want to meet her, the one my pops thinks is good for me. If things work out, she'll be the reason for all my being. And I know I will give it all I can. I don't have a exact criteria to as who shall be chosen or who shall choose me, but if we both can work things out, We might just make it happily over the river, that's life.  

Work has been going well. I’ve had the chance to meet some truly interesting people—new faces in unfamiliar places. One colleague, in particular, surprised me. Her calm demeanor at work always gave the impression of someone who preferred the quiet comfort of idleness. But yesterday, I caught a glimpse of something entirely different. Beneath that composed surface lies a fierce personality—a spirit both adventurous and poetic. I hadn’t seen that side of her before. She always seemed steady, almost detached, but now I see a depth forged by resilience. Her strength is palpable, the kind born from enduring life’s trials, though she carries it with an effortless grace. What more could be said about a poet that the world hasn’t already tried to express? Yet, I’m reminded that appearances are often deceiving; what we see is rarely the whole story. It’s heartening to know someone so creative and layered is part of our team. In her, there’s inspiration—a quiet reminder that there’s always more ...

I want to talk about an opportunity—an opportunity I’ve found in this job. Yes, it’s a 10-6 routine, but the trust I’ve received from the company goes beyond the usual. They’ve entrusted me with key responsibilities like the hiring process, procurement, and several important projects—tasks I genuinely want to take ownership of. Beyond work itself, there’s the travel. I’ve been traveling across Nepal frequently, which has been refreshing. And at the end of this week, I’m heading to Bangladesh for a few days. The perks? No complaints there. Of course, the weight of these responsibilities might strain my personal relationships, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay to support my family. Speaking of personal life, the topic of marriage has been coming up a lot. I’ve been giving it some thought, and honestly, I think it’s time. If you’re reading this from Nepal, you probably understand what an arranged marriage entails. If not, well—you might want to Google it.

 There is room for improvement and I have to definitely head towards that room, I've been strutting about and relaxing ever since I got the job but that has also made me careless with my money. My money goes away in the blink of an eye and how do you change that ? Growing up I was taught only one thing about money and that was that you have to save it, I don't believe that strongheartedly. To change this I need to invest it in something that is rewarding either financially or socially and now it doesn't go towards either of those things. There are health goals that I want to keep up to and change a few aspects of my lifestyle because I go hard on things that are toxic to me and I've always been about the talk, I need to walk the walk as well.  

 there are things to be said about my friends and lovers, but whom I've loved the most is still far away from me. As she has always been. I cannot fathom the depth of my love for her but to express them to her isn't something i have done. In that, I've been a coward, even though those people of my life might not call it that. I've been fool-hardy, if anything. There is no way I can get away with all these words, if she were the one to see it, but hopefully it will elude her altogether. 

The festivities have come and gone, and I find myself back at home, soaking up the morning sun. The work routine is settling in, with the usual 10-to-6 schedule becoming more familiar by the day. This time around, though, things feel different. I’m learning new skills and approaches compared to my last tenure here. I’m putting more energy into networking with the right people, tackling crucial tasks, and savoring the process along the way. One challenge that stands out is managing my income effectively. I’m determined not to let my money sit idle this time. Financial management will be essential, so I plan to dig into some straightforward money management books. If any of them resonate with me, I’ll share a review here. This step feels necessary, not only to handle personal expenses but also to navigate my work-related finances more smoothly. Work travel has kept me on the move—it’s both invigorating and a bit exhausting. As one month wrapped up, I now find myself in the thick of the s...

 You gotta keep hammering the stuff, the day you're out of the loop, you might as well be out of the game. That's  how we play it, we play it close to the minute, even the second. That is how we choose to live. But what is that all about, I barely understand. I am trying my best to play the game by the day, by the minute, but as soon as I close in to something, it blows into something entirely different. How can you catch something that isn't. Right now, I'm hoping for a good word, a good emotion, a good response from the people I did not care about a month ago. That is how it runs, something that was is already a matter of the past that you keep on clinging to, something that never would have been has become what you think about all the time. That is how we are built, well atleast me. I can't say about everyone, I get a feeling that I can but as soon as the words pour out, all I can write about is me. Right now, I'm having the time of my life writing down whate...

Comparison is the thief of joy. At least, that's how it has been for most of my life. If you knew my folks, you'd understand—growing up, it was always about who scored better in exams: me or my friends. This instilled in me the belief that I had to compete and compare myself with others to earn the love I deserved. It's not their fault; I was their first child, and many other parents in our society acted the same way. But this constant comparison of everything you do and have with someone else stifles your satisfaction. What years of reading self-help books and incredible fiction has taught me is that even the great people who led the world were once trapped in this same mindset. So what changed for them? Most of them started competing with themselves—comparing who they were yesterday with who they are today, and with who they want to become tomorrow. This is one powerful way to transform your life, and I am working on putting it into practice. I still catch myself comparin...

I often get homesick, and for the past week, I’ve been traveling all over. The place I’m staying, Hotel Makalu Birgunj, has been a good refuge. The staff treat you well, and I was shielded from the floods and rains of the past few days in the comfort of my hotel room. The heavy rain affected the entire nation, with many homes destroyed by floods. My home, Kathmandu, wasn’t spared either. While our place wasn’t flooded, the surrounding areas were devastated by the Bagmati River that flows nearby. It’s hard not to think that this will only get worse in the future. Starting today, there are warnings of extreme heat in many parts of the country. The easy culprit is Climate Change, but that’s just the symptom. The real cause, and solution, lies with us—humans. In times of disaster, we often see the best of our nature. Just yesterday, a stranger dove into a flooded river to save people he had never met, while rescue personnel worked tirelessly. Yet, this spirit of helpfulness often appears o...

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve journeyed from the heights of Lukla to the vast plains of the Tarai, and I’m currently writing this from Birgunj. Life has taken an interesting turn as I’ve started working full-time with Jaleshwor Dai at his office. This new direction has opened up a world of travel opportunities. Earlier this week, I was in Pokhara for work, and now I’ve landed in Birgunj. As I travel and grow through this work, I plan to write regularly about my experiences. I’ll be staying here for a few more days, visiting a few temples and sampling the local foods Birgunj is famous for. For the past year and a half, I worked freelance, juggling sporadic projects in design and IT, while also tutoring a few students. The decision to take on a full-time job was driven by my desire for more stability—both in my personal life and career. Financially, I’m aiming to save a bit here and there to support my family more consistently. Beyond that, I’m certain this experience will help me g...

A few days ago, I went to my college to meet two of my friends. Two of us were there to discuss our master’s thesis and what to do about it. While saying our goodbyes for the day, we met our thesis advisor on his way out. We stayed for a few minutes to chat with him. Another teacher of mine from my bachelor’s days at the same college happened to pass by, and I greeted him with a namaste. I was reminded of my music studies with him as my subject teacher for two years. Rabin Sir had now become the assistant campus chief. From my experience under his tutelage, I knew that he would have loved to start a Master’s in Classical Music course at the institute. Often when I met him at college, we would talk about introducing the subject and the obstacles they had to overcome as administrators. I was enthusiastic to learn more from him and others in that academic environment. Soft-spoken and gentle-spirited, I greeted him as he was leaving the college that day. Today, while I logged onto Facebook...

I’ve always aspired to be a man of action—not the kind you see in movies, but someone who acts on his interests whenever and wherever they arise. Perhaps "selfish" is a more fitting description, but I prefer "action-oriented." Yet, despite this desire, I’ve often found myself lost in thought, endlessly debating the best course of action until I remain exactly where I started. So much for being a man of action, huh? I often wonder, who am I trying to convince, and who is doing the convincing? What rules must one follow to live peacefully, or are there even rules to follow at all? As I write this at 7:30 in the morning, a motorbike has been tearing through our community, its rider revving the engine to announce his presence. I was meditating when he first passed by, and in that moment, I felt a surge of anger—how dare he disturb my peace? But then I realized that by letting such a trivial thing bother me, I had disrupted the sanctity of my meditation. Now, as I contin...

It is a story you tell. The moment you start forming opinions, when your first words are heard, it is a story you tell. You begin your story whenever you think you began it. There is, in my mind, a moment from my childhood. I was angry at a friend of mine; he was a little older than me. I, a person of 7 years of age, would not fare well against someone who was 10 or 11. I do not remember what I was angry about, but I remember the action I took while I was fuming. We were playing in our front yards. The moment I felt wronged, I quit playing and was on my way. I had a bicycle I rode around. I did not go off cycling to ease my pain; I didn’t have the wisdom then to do so. I went away to find a rock that I could launch with my slingshot. After moments of searching, I came back with the smallest but hardest piece of stone that I could launch. Beside the gate, a few meters away from where we were playing and where my arch-enemy (at that moment) was playing, I positioned myself to shoot the ...

 I have tried many ways, and for many days, to change myself. The best tool I thought I had at my disposal for that was my thinking—my thought process. Seeing as how I still don't feel like a changed man, I know that way of trying to change isn't working. I have been studying our Hindu philosophy, and another way has appeared—a mindful way, or rather the way of awareness. I have been practicing meditation as a hobby for a long time now, and as with most hobbies, I lose interest at times, while at other times I am immersed in it. Some of that experience has rubbed off well. To make it work for the betterment of myself and everything around me, however, I need to turn it into a ritual of sorts. The psychological battle between different choices in our lives does not come all at once; they arise one day at a time, just as the sun can only shine for a day at a time. This battle of choices that I have tried to fight rationally, thoughtfully, and repressively has only caused more and...

Nepali Version :    चन्द्रमा र माया - Aetherek  जिस्काउछे मलाई त्यो मेरो चन्द्रमा, बस्छु शायद म पनि उस्को त्यो मनमा,  आनन्द आउछ याद उस्को आउदा, आकाश मेरो खुल्छ दर्शन उस्को पाउदा,  चाहान्न अरु केही म तिमी बाट, माया नभये कहाँ आउथ्यो यो आट, केही शब्दले मात्र पनि बुन्न सक्दिन यो प्रेम कथा,  तिमी नहुँदा मनले लान्छ कहिले एता, अहिले उता, सम्झन्छु तिमीलाई हरेक साजमा,  चन्द्र र ताराहरु को माजमा,  मेरा सबै सास छन तिम्रोनै राजमा।  English Version :  The Moon & My Love - Aetherek  She teases me, my moon so dear, Perhaps I dwell within her heart, so near. Joy arises when her memory appears, The sky opens wide when her vision clears. I seek nothing else but you alone, Without love, where would this courage be grown? No words could weave this love’s tale, When you're gone, my heart wanders, frail. I think of you in every twilight’s hue, Amidst the moon and stars’ view. All my breaths are under your reign, With you, my love, they remain. "Moonr...

I've been reading and learning about world history. The lessons I can take from it are many. What amazes me is that there are so few key events that shape history; much more is shaped by various wild probabilities and chances that determine who we are today. As a student of Literature, I am interested in learning about the truth just as much as about fiction. After all, fictional worlds often imitate the real one, and sometimes it's the opposite as well. Yesterday, while talking with a friend of mine, I had an insight: in the Nepali literary scene, there are hardly any fictional works that try to imagine a future for Nepal, purely in fictional terms. The idea is to write about Nepal as an underdeveloped nation reaching the heights of a superpower, with the span of this dramatic rise taking place over decades or centuries. Imagining a few aspects of this story excited me, but working on it and actually thinking of the conditions that might result in that kind of importance on th...

 Which class ends up owning you? That has always been the state of middle and lower-class people. What can I say? There is always a class that ends up ruling over you. During the time of the Spaniards, there were conquistadors and viceroys who ruled over you; in the time of the British, there were colonial governors and masters who ruled over you; in the time of the French, there were also colonial administrators who ruled over you. Throughout history, we have witnessed a form of control where there is a ruling class and the ruled. The cycle is that we end up changing our positions. There have been revolutions and uprisings to overthrow the ruling class throughout the world, but there have also been long periods of subservience. People have been ruled over, and there are those who rule over them. That has always been the state of the world, and you cannot convince me that right now is any different. I cannot pass judgment on who is in the right and who is in the wrong, but I can sa...

I tried to remember her face, But her name escapes my mind, Where is she now? Where can I look? Oh, she was my ace of hearts, I thought her to be an angel, I cried out to the heavens above, I've wandered all my life, Searching for my ace of hearts, Her sweet eyes, her loving embrace. Oh Lord, oh God, help me name your angel, Am I not searching, am I not looking right? I may not be the darkness, But I’m surely not the light. My baby, my love, my angel, I don’t know where she’s gone, But now I’m all alone. I don’t know the love of an angel, I’m just made of rough flesh and bone. I don’t know where I belong— How does it feel to be without a home? "The Soul of the Rose" by John William Waterhouse

My chief aim right now is to make discipline a part of my life. I have had many opportunities in the past to improve myself, but I failed to seize most of them. Out of ignorance toward what attracts me the most, I have let too many moments and days pass idly by, spending most of my time regretting the transgressions of my past. To change that and find a new way of living, I am certain that discipline must be incorporated into both action and thought. For the action part, most of my days are now spent in the pursuit of creative fulfillment, primarily through writing. I also want to make a habit of working toward fulfilling those creative instincts. For the thoughtful part, I must filter out and unlearn the negative ideas that I have harbored for decades. Only with the right thoughts can I prompt the right actions. My dissatisfaction has always stemmed from my inability to do the things I judge to be right. This is the way of ignorance: knowing the right path but still debasing myself or...

Nepal—a nation perpetually in transition. I've spoken with countless friends, and the sentiment is always the same: the government, they say, is tuned against the welfare of its own people. Even driving could be a gamble with your life ( August 15th News ). What can I say about a country so entrenched in its ways? Can a single person truly change a nation? Western ideologies would argue yes, but here, in our Eastern homes, I have my doubts. We exist in a state of constant flux, where something is always teetering on the brink of failure. Nepal, a land cherished by over 30 million hearts—yet, can any of them truly claim their actions have reshaped the nation? I remain unconvinced. The daily challenges we face are but a microcosm of the lifelong battles ahead. Who wouldn't feel helpless in such a situation? My friends—most of whom now live abroad—sing praises of their adopted countries, and rightly so. But when they return home, they’re on vacation, merely tourists in their own l...

"Do not stay idle, Do not spend time with friends." This and many other pieces of advice I've heard from elders who are there to guide me. I do not accuse them of trying to help me, but when I explore why they impose such advice, I always encounter responses like, "Staying idle for long periods is laziness, and you don't want to be labeled a lazy person, now do you?" or "You spend time with your friends while they make progress and move ahead of you. Don't you want to compete?" I've often wondered what makes us so bitter towards life. Do we ever really compete with others? Do we ever truly compare ourselves with one another? There are illusions of grandeur, importance, and value, but do they hold true throughout our lives? Should competition and relentless activity be the morals that drive our lives, or should we lay such matters to rest once and for all? Darwin's mantra of survival of the fittest might apply to the evolution of species...

There are cravings that a person must fulfill in this world, and they can mostly be categorized into two types: material and spiritual. The spiritual one is highly individual and requires a different sort of effort than the materialistic one. Today, I would like to talk about my materialistic needs. As a person born and raised in Nepal, an underdeveloped nation in Asia, I, like most other Nepalis, have to find means not only to support myself but also to support my family, however possible. Even though I have chosen the written word as a medium for my spiritual fulfillment, I must admit that it is not a viable way to make a modest living, at least here at home. I am reminded of a quote by Gabriel García Márquez: "If you're going to be a writer, you have to be one of the great ones... After all, there are better ways to starve to death." Well, we all can't be the great ones, now can we? So, as a means to make a living, I have chosen a quieter profession that I have bee...

Where does my hope come from? What is it in me that assumes everything will be good in the end? Of what end could I possibly be thinking? To the living, the only inevitable end seems to be death. Is that the end I wonder about? The burden of existence certainly comes from questions—questions that I have spent my life so far trying to figure out. Not the answers, mind you, but the questions themselves, which are lost to me. At times, I wonder if it's about making the most of the moments you get; at other times, I wonder if it's about making the most moments out of the time you have. Jumping the ropes of knowledge and experience, I find myself torn, wanting both sides of the coin. How such contradictions can be within the scope of reason is beyond me. Sometimes, I try my best to simply get through the day with whatever distractions I have at hand. Other times, I strive to fully attend to every minute task that I deem worthy of action throughout the day. For my generation (by that...

It's the creative life for me. I cannot take anything else. I tried holding steady jobs that pay very well (compared to the salaries that average Nepalis make). But what I figured out about myself in the last couple of days is that I am too excitable to be steady at something; there are things that I take to the extreme. Thoughts that drive me mad, actions that make me someone else. These thoughts and actions come at different intervals, and they make all the difference in my life. I have revelations all the time. What can you call that? I certainly am not a thoughtful or intelligent person, but I react all too loudly whenever something out of the ordinary happens. Being too excitable has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Whenever my folks tried to beat me, I used to bail. Running was my forte. That does not mean they were bad people; they tried their best, given that I was their first child. Oof! What trouble it must have been to raise me. They instilled in me ...

It was common in the time of kings to offer favors to their close friends. The tight circle would then offer favors to those below them. The hierarchy was set; power came from the top and trickled slowly downward. Well, the king is no more. But the authority figures who have power are still ever-present in today's democracy. Those who have power now exercise similar misuse toward those who have none. The only difference is that there is no central authority exerting immense power; instead, power is divided among politicians, judges, bureaucrats, and business folks. This is not to say that everyone misuses their power, but I am certain that if you are from Nepal, you know how far knowing someone can take you ( source/force ). Growing up in Kathmandu, I have always been aware of the fact that my family and I belonged to the have-not section of this divide. Anytime we needed to get something done, we had to either bribe someone or cozy up to people just to get their duties fulfilled. ...

The Orwellian society portrayed in George Orwell's 1984 has become a living reality for many of us modern netizens. Just as the people living in Orwell's fictional world, people today often do not realize their predicament in a world designed to capture their attention for as long as possible. This scenario also resembles parts of the Pixar movie WALL-E , where humanity is depicted as having been reduced to passive consumers of content every waking hour. Moments before I go to sleep, my eyes struggle to keep up with the stories that Netflix offers to me. The moments after I wake up are spent frantically trying to catch up on what I might have missed during the night. This constant need for engagement has made many aspects of life miserable. We cannot get bored; we're not allowed to get bored. This seems to be the modern mantra. Tools that were supposed to ease our way of living have become the only means through which we can bear to live. A simple explanation like this acc...

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  The Complexity of Truly Knowing Someone: Can you truly know someone? I don't think so. The more I try to figure out a person, the more I slip away from who they are. I cannot fathom that, at least logically. At times, I feel that I know someone completely (including myself), but at other times, I find something entirely contrasting. Is it simply that we are all ever-changing? The moment you try to hold onto it is the moment you lose it. From my personal experience, I have tried to love, and every person I have loved has become an end in themselves. I thought of them as the beginning and the end, but alas, I am writing this to you as a lone man. What I find truly fascinating is that there are hours when I cannot be left alone; the world has to be by my side. But there are also moments when I cannot stand anyone beside me. The living contradiction that I am encourages me not to fix myself to a specific category or class but to exist as a living entity, experiencing everything in be...

Nature's Design: A Journey of Existence - On the eve of my birthday by Akash Thapa  I am what nature intended to be. I dare not say that I have control over nature. Was I born? Or was a human baby born that ultimately turned into me? I have been at the depths of rivers, Deprived of air to breathe. I have been at sun-covered beaches, Enjoying the summer heat. At moments, I have had a lifetime's worth of experience. My lifetime though would not amount to certain moments. I am a certainty that has occurred, I am a chance that could’ve been. Losing control is in my domain, Seizing the universe is my aim. Calling for everyone to be by my side, Alone in my dying moment is the design. Searching for mysteries is my calling, Setting the highest benchmark, is my falling. Being who I was born to be is my fate, In any way struggling to find myself is my selling rate.

What can you call NATURE when everything in this world moves with time? There is no set definition that one can pinpoint. The all-too-fictional-seeming book by Kafka, The Trial , seems to me a natural tale but of a different time. I finished reading the book today, and the world that Kafka creates certainly seems fictional to me, but I often glimpsed that the book had close ties to our way of the world. We logically try to think that it must have a certain meaning inherent to its nature, but we often find contradictions in the simplest of senses. What can you say when a person commits to doing one thing, but their actions inevitably lead to another? And we come around to these things in a cycle. The beginning of the book could be well read, but after a certain time, you realize how strange the nature of the world within it is. The protagonist K. might have gotten very far ( in his case ) due to his presumed intelligence to outsmart everyone, but he ended up in the worst shape possible,...

                                                                           René Magritte.  The Lovers . Paris 1928. Echoes of Past Love: A Tale of Nostalgia, Guilt, and Introspection by Akash Thapa  "O Ellen, what will you say when the recording angel asks you why one of your sins has my name to it?" George Bernard Shaw wrote to his love, Ellen Terry, in a letter dated 1897. Almost 127 years later, reading it this fine morning, I am reminded of a past love in which I had a chance to play a role in. I wonder, how would her recording angels take my lover's sin to be? I still feel guilty at the thought of how the affair ended between her and me, abruptly, even though it took years to ignite our passions for each other. The guilt I feel has been mine to bear,...

I've been able to take care of some of my bad habits for almost three days now. They feel like an eternity. My muscles ache, and I realize that I'll have to factor in exercise a few days later. The key habits that I would like to keep up and sharpen are writing and reading. Being able to talk about my misgivings has helped a lot. Currently, I'm reading  Civilized to Death :  The Price of Progress . Some concepts resonate well with me; some I take with a grain of salt. The reading is exciting, and the writing seems well-informed. My thoughts now wander back hundreds of thousands of years, and I try to imagine what a human eons ago must have felt. What were the troubles that they dealt with? What were the aims that they aspired to? And finally, how did this age come about? This age that so many find wonderful to live in, this best of times which incidentally many feel to be the worst of times as well ( current  famine -like conditions and  warzones  around the wor...

My bouts with insomnia are growing. Yesterday—or rather, this morning at around 1:55—I felt tired enough to sleep. I knew the exact time because I was reading my Kindle (" Civilized to Death : The Price of Progress" by Christopher Ryan). Just as I tiredly closed my eyes, in the silence of the morning, I could hear roaches moving about in my room. The small tap-tap-tap noise they make as they scurry across the floor is familiar. I mostly let them be. Today, however, one roamed by my bed's headboard. I could hear it crawling by. Irritated, I tried to ignore it, but a moment later, I heard the flutter of its tiny wings as it flew towards my door. I lost it. I knew that some innocent creature like that could be left alone, but not today. Sleep-deprived and bleary-eyed, I quickly turned the lights on in my room. I remembered having an old bug spray somewhere in the room. As I caught sight of the spray, I heard a faint rustle of plastic by the door and knew that the roach was t...

Suddenly, I was awake, and the first thought that came to mind was of her. How would it feel to have that lost love by my side the moment I woke from sleep? It was a cheerful thought, though not real or possible in any sense. Then, like all addicts who want to give up their addiction, my mind began a tug-of-war between indulgence and ignorance. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts go at it for a while. Ignorance, I thought, would be best, but it's like that old saying: "Don't think about monkeys." Then all you can do is think about monkeys. That's how it went for a few minutes, me fighting my urges at the very first light of day. Yesterday, I would've given in to indulgence, but today I decided to let the thoughts come and go. I then went for a jog. I like to think that my stamina determines my overall well-being, and for that, I love pushing myself out of bed and going jogging as soon as possible. Obviously, there's no consistency in that either, but on d...

Yesterday , Friday, was like many other Fridays I've spent in the past: meeting with friends, hanging out. Meeting with friends isn't bad on its own; after all, we need our individual groups, our own community, and for that companionship, I am grateful to every one of my friends, who I can count on at all times. This isn't about them, however. It's about what I have been doing and feeling on my own. My lifestyle, as it seems to me now, has taken a stale turn. I hope to make changes but come full circle within the very week of trying to enforce those changes. The good thing, if any, that has come out of almost half a decade of debauchery is that I have been able to balance my academic life fairly well, occasional dropping out of colleges and failing a few classes included. Other than that, I am on the cusp of writing a thesis for my Masters in English Literature, procrastinating as usual. This loop of life has been going on for long enough, and I have decided it is time ...

First Version :   After many a days in a haze,  I come back to my old self,  ragged, beaten I find him torn,  but not dead, mind you !  The old rhythm of heart goes on still  a decade has passed by in a moment,  there to here, a journey of years,  away, hidden, tormented by silent tears. Can I forgive the past, at last ?  or maybe just forget ?  What a life does to man,  is nothing short of regret.  Latest Edited Version :  After many days lost in a haze, I come back to my old self. I find him—ragged, beaten, torn— but not dead. Mind you! The old rhythm of the heart goes on, and a decade has passed in a moment. From there to here—a journey of years, away, hidden, tormented, silent in tears. Can I forgive the past at last? Or maybe just forget? What life does to man— is it anything but regret?

  ( The picture is not of a golden retriever but a good boy nonetheless : My Oskar )   I’ve been trying to get my health back on track for a few months now . Daily abuse of junk food , smok ing and polluted Kathmandu airs have done wonders against the effort. To counter those abuses, I decided jogging would be best as a start. For a few days now, Prashant Dai and Agya Dd have been taking walks with me in the morning. Today, only D d came, and we headed towards Pasupatinath Temple , my usual destination . I jogged most of the way towards the temple and she walked . We both walked on the way back , talking about simple things in life . At Bhimsengola bus stop, just as we crossed the road onto our street, we came across a Golden retriever peering its head patiently above the front porch walls o f a newly built home.  P atiently looking upon the people that passed by without turning its head to follow along, the dog held its head on the porch walls and let pe...